I want to go to there

• the kidney/endocrine unit for finally being over (even if I didn’t do very well on it) and only having one last unit in path (although I will have to do very well on it.  see how this works out?)
• having Mark to commiserate with over the application cycle – which incidentally, is driving me nuts
• Saad’s Halal chicken maroosh & lamb schwarma & fries
• although Nick is leaving for deployment, at least I will be in touch with him
• some friends for really making an effort to respond when I was feeling super bummed out a couple of weeks ago.  I suck at reaching out (as Emily knows) so that was very reassuring and made me feel worlds better.
• being inside where it’s warm and bright right now, what with the stormy weather and all
• still being allowed to go to the dentist I’ve seen since I was 5 even though I am 23
• seeing people catch up while riding the trolley.  I love watching when people meet up by chance on the trolley and the surprised faces, happy conversation, and little bubble that all goes along with it.

Autumn Sonnet

If I can let you go as trees let go

Their leaves, so casually, one by one;

If I can come to know what they do know,

That fall is the release, the consummation,

Then fear of time and the uncertain fruit

Would not distemper the great lucid skies

This strangest autumn, mellow and acute.

If I can take the dark with open eyes

And call it seasonal, not harsh or strange

(for love itself may need a time of sleep)

And, treelike, stand unmoved before the change,

Lose what I lose to keep what I can keep,

The strong root still alive under the snow,

Love will endure – if I can let you go.

by May Sarton

TGIF

• the nephro/endo unit being fantastically light, at least in comparison to cardiopulmonary
• getting better at running.  slowly. I still think it’s boring.
• Chris for getting me a million batteries for my laser pointer
• the squirrels that taunt Pickle right outside our house. he’s probably lost a few brain cells from smashing his head into the window.
• 3 year anniversary last weekend, w. Indian food, Renn Faire, homemade soft pretzels, and tickets to Mahler’s 7th symphony
• Nick visiting today!
• smuckers peanut butter. it is magical.

Suicide in the Trenches

I knew a simple soldier boy

Who grinned at life in empty joy,

Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,

And whistled early with the lark.

In winter trenches, cowed and glum,

With crumps and lice and lack of rum,

He put a bullet through his brain.

No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye

Who cheer when soldier lads march by,

Sneak home and pray you’ll never know

The hell where youth and laughter go.

I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.
In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you’ll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.

by Siegfried Sassoon

all the above

• seeing Alegria on Tuesday thanks to Judy.  as usual it was amazing and magical, and the music made me cry.
• Megan for getting me a subscription to Real Simple!
• RB’s subscription to Good, of which the latest issue gave me a lot to think about
• having warm fluffy pets on cold rainy nights of studying
• JP and Sam for making pathology more bearable
• the right back corner of research seminar
• Chris’ Roca and guava candies
• Board Review Series for saving my ass before every single exam
• Adam for rescuing me from the library today

wild ride

(a couple of days late, I know)

• Accepted to PCOM 6 business days after my interview.  Be nice to me, I may very well be giving you a rectal exam in the future. Dooooooctor!!!
• an amazing interview (and tour, etc.) at EVMS in Norfolk.  Definitely my first choice right now.  I love the city, the hospitals (especially the pediatric hospital), how down to earth and service-oriented the students are, the SP program, small class size, oh god.. trying to tone down the love for now since I am out-of-state, making it much more competitive.
• Larry for not only letting us stay with him in Norfolk, but also for the apples and breakfast and advice
• the compensation for the measly time I spend TA’ing our medical ethics course
• Pickle is the best cat that ever existed.  He constantly provides entertainment (right now he’s skidding across the ground for no apparent reason)
• Judy for again watching the little scamp, and Baxter for apparently enjoying having a friend around (maybe?  Not sure if the toy taunting is considered friendly)
• Megan’s moo cards which I am constantly using now for thank you cards to interviewers
• Bunnicula

back from Albany

• RB for mailing me the BEST book ever. seriously, it’s perfect, it really is. LISTS!  what an awesome surprise to come home too.
• my interviews so far not being nearly as stressful as rumored/expected
• Dino buddies for keeping me company when Adam is gone
• Judy for watching the little scamp
• my mom for letting me use her hotel points to stay in Albany for free
• Peter for taking me sailing for the first time ever
• glorious cold weather is here
• a really relaxed group of students to hang out with today (care bear land)
• ANTM cycle 13

wine red

• delicious lunch at Bistro St. Tropez yesterday for restaurant week, w. Chris and Mustafa
• not having to go into the clinic this week
• Megan’s camera
• having interviews coming up
• fun ideas/plans for October.  I love haunted houses.
• pilates class = pain

You Reading This: Stop

Don’t just stay tangled up in your life.
Out there in some river or cave where you
could have been, some absolute, lonely
dawn may arrive and begin the story
that means what everything is about.

So don’t just look, either:
let your whole self drift like a breath and learn
its way down through the trees. Let that fine
waterfall-smoke filter its gone, magnified presence
all through the forest. Stand here till all that
you were can wander away and come back slowly,
carrying a strange new flavor into your life.
Feel it? That’s what we mean. So don’t just
read this—rub your thought over it.

Now you can go on.

- William Stafford

I’m on a boat

• skee ball
• Bunnicula (the car)
• new music – incl. Athlete, Girlyman, ..
• my boys at Drexel and our group emails (about 150/day)
• my mom’s bread = morning toast
• first day of TA’ing going relatively well
• the equinox is coming !
• coupons from Megan
• Larry for sending us a block of one of our favorite cheese (chaource) in the mail
• vintage gouda, even w. the little round crystals that give me goosebumps
• ANTM cycle 13
• low humidity