flying rats

• gatorade
• blacklights that show where Pickle did his business (bad cat.. there’s like a trail to the door where he was peeing while fleeing [which rhymes])
• first exam of the semester is over, and it went quite well
• enormous slices of baklava
• getting my second interview
• my sister settling in at college
• cool weather
• chicken makhani

just breathe

• scheduling lunches w. Ashleigh in the city between our classes and work
• Trader Joe’s
• surprise treats Crispy Sweetie
• weather cooling down
• after my exam next week, I won’t have any classes (besides the research seminar) for an entire week.  I will have clinic work but still.
• I got my first interview!  I’m particularly excited because they had put my application on hold, with a very vague message (lots of people are applying, unfortunately we might not be able to get to you.. etc) three weeks ago.  I was resigned to not hearing anything from them for months, and when I got the e-mail yesterday I really thought it was a rejection.  So that was a really nice surprise!  Of course it’s still no guarantee since they are not so friendly to out-of-staters, but I feel at least somewhat loved..

80% charged

• finally being able to use the gym again, after an entire summer
• Trader Joe’s
• chocolate ice cream mochi
• Chris, for giving me tons of TV shows and movies to distract me
• finding one Nylabone
• beach time with Alex last weekend, which came at the perfect time (as usual!  I don’t know how she does it) and included mini golf, sandy toes, ice cream..
• Ian’s engagement story
• almost never having to go downtown for class!
• loving my research
• my first rejection. I was really happy to not feel bad about it at all.  It was expected and I saw it coming, so I don’t feel fazed (yet, until I’m rejected from everywhere else).
• Chaco & Birkenstock sandals
• Mario Kart Wii

moon shadow

• Ashleigh in Philly!  I am so happy to have (one of) my best friends so close by.
• school is starting next Monday; at least I will also start having access to the gym
• Dock Street Brewery’s Flammenkuche pizza and summer garden beer
• meeting (and rescuing – long story) Ashleigh’s adorable kittens, Dexter & Cody
• my job w. Wadie winding down
• Cat Stevens
• being really excited about ALL the medical schools I’ve applied to
• being done applying and now just playing the waiting game
• Mario Kart Wii!  I’m awful at it, but it’s still fun
• the Greenbergs for allowing Adam and I to stay at their beach house last weekend. Their place is beyond gorgeous, and although it rained on Sunday we still got out to the shore on Saturday (even bringing Dill!)

100 stamps

• RB’s update email this month, which came first
• being asked to be a bridesmaid for Alex’s wedding!  I feel so honored.
• Nate & Amber’s wedding was beautiful and unique, with square dancing involved (almost as good as contra)
• Dill’s second try at swimming being much more joyful
• Ashleigh being safe despite missing her flight back from Ecuador
• Ashleigh moving to Philly this weekend!  (and getting two cats next week)
• my awesome banana bread
• Adam for always being kind and patient with me, especially as the neuroses increases
• distracting TV shows
• going to the beach this weekend
• receiving a couple secondaries that are screened, so at least I know that those schools have some marginal interest in my application

call me in off your worn out welcome mat

• the Duhks
• Frank for sending me new music, and also for indirectly introducing me to his music through last.fm
• my friends for spoiling me and still sending birthday gifts this week (!).  I’m mostly amazed at how everyone came up with gifts that are somehow perfect.
• Megan’s moo.com cards from months ago – they are coming in very handy with all thank you notes I’ve been sending
• Ian’s phone calls
• ceiling fans
• Nick
• Brita filters
• Wadie for an improvement in efficient communication & sending checks
• Heavyweights
• an abundance of strawberries, grapes, and cherries

thought #3

Maryland wins the competition for having the most aggravating secondary to fill out.  At least so far.

Georgetown wins for having the most expensive secondary ($130), followed closely by GW ($125).

So glad that the schools around my home are all winners.

I still want to be a librarian

The book I’m working on right now for Wadie is “The Legend of Spud Murphy”.  For some reason, it really makes me happy and I have all sorts of pleasant memories now of basically growing up in the library.  Since my mom volunteered in the library, I spent almost every summer living in the Gaithersburg library.  I’d go through the shelves making a huge pile of books I wanted to read that day, and parked myself on a couch for the rest of the day.  It was fantastic.  Thanks, mom!

Edit: the librarian’s name is Angela, in the book. Perfect.

half the year left

• all of my friends & family who wished me a happy birthday
• Nicki for giving me quite a mystery to solve when she didn’t write on the package who sent the food erasers
• Adam for waffles, noticing a skirt, and the “AAMCAS gift card” (hah!)
• Judy for the equivalent of the gift card
• Wadie for mailing me my check on time.  Yes, this is unbelievable.
• being in the limbo zone right now with respect to secondaries
• Alex for sending me her life update email first (!).  I love not feeling like the creepy prodding person who demands time.
• Ashleigh moving to Philadelphia
• Megan for consenting to come dog-sit for Dill – I trust her most with the beasts.
• re-installing the Sims 2
• my mom, because without her, I wouldn’t be here and would not have had a fantastic birthday yesterday

How to Sleep

Let your mountainous forehead
with its veins of bright ore
ease down, the deep line
between your brows flatten,
unruffle the small muscles
below your temples, above
your jaws, let the grimace
muscles in your cheekbones
go, the weeping muscles
sealing your eyes. Die into
the pillow, calm in the knowledge
that you will someday cease, soon
or late, late or soon, the song
you’re made of will stop, your body
played out, the currents pulsing
through your brain drained
of their power, their purpose,
will frizzle out through
your fingertips, private sparks
leaping weakly onto the sheets
where you lay breathing
and then not breathing.
Lay your head down and relax
into it: death. Accept it.
Trick yourself like this.
Hover in a veil of ethers.
Call it sleep.

- Dorianne Laux